Sociology (9690) | Gender, age and the experience of family life

Welcome to Section 3.1.1.4: Gender, Age, and the Experience of Family Life

Hello Sociologists! This chapter is fascinating because it moves beyond just *what* families are (types, perspectives) to explore *how* people actually live within them.
We will look at how your experience of family life is shaped fundamentally by two things you cannot change: your gender (social roles) and your age (where you are in the life cycle).

Understanding this helps you analyse why a grandmother, a teenage daughter, and a working father might have completely different roles, levels of power, and emotional experiences, even when living under the same roof!

1. Gender and the Division of Labour in the Family

Sociology argues that gender roles are socially constructed—meaning they are learned, not biological. Traditionally, societies have assigned different roles to men and women within the home.

1.1 Traditional Gender Roles (Functionalist View)

The functionalist sociologist Parsons argued that the nuclear family needed clear roles to function efficiently. He identified two main, complementary roles:

• The Male Role: The Instrumental Role

  This man is the breadwinner. His role is to achieve success outside the home and earn money for the family. He is focused on practical, goal-oriented tasks (hence, "instrumental").

• The Female Role: The Expressive Role

  This woman is the homemaker and care provider. Her role is to provide emotional support, primary socialisation for children, and maintain the harmony of the family (hence, "expressive").

Analogy: Think of a small business. The instrumental role is the CEO (who brings in the money), and the expressive role is Human Resources (who keeps morale high and manages the internal environment).

1.2 Challenging Traditional Roles: The Feminist Critique

Feminists strongly disagree with Parsons, arguing that this traditional division only benefits men and results in female oppression.

A. The Division of Domestic Labour (Who Does the Chores?)

Sociologist Ann Oakley (1974) studied housewives and found that the idea of the symmetrical family (where men and women share tasks equally) was often a myth. Even if men "help out," women still carry the primary responsibility for the house and children.

• Evidence of Inequality: Studies often show that men participate in certain tasks (like DIY or playing with children) but women are responsible for the routine, less enjoyable tasks (cleaning bathrooms, cooking).

B. The Triple Shift

Many women now participate in paid work, but they rarely drop their domestic responsibilities. This leads to the phenomenon known as the Triple Shift:

1. Paid Employment (Earning a wage)
2. Domestic Labour (Housework, childcare)
3. Emotional Work (Worrying about family members, maintaining relationships, planning social lives – the expressive role)

Don't worry if this seems tricky at first: Just remember the word 'triple' means three. The triple shift means women are working three full jobs simultaneously, showing the vast inequality in family roles.

1.3 Power, Decision-Making, and Family Violence

The distribution of domestic labour is linked to who holds the power in the family (e.g., who controls the money or makes major decisions).

• Decision Making: Studies often show that men tend to make major, 'big ticket' decisions (buying a car, moving house), while women manage the daily decisions (food budget, children's clothes).
• Financial Power: Even when both partners work, who controls the money is crucial. If the woman only receives an 'allowance' from the man, she has less power.
• Violence: Sadly, gender inequality can escalate into violence against women and children. Sociologists note that the family, often seen as a place of love and safety, is statistically one of the most dangerous places for women, demonstrating extreme power imbalances.

2. Age and the Experience of Family Life (Children and Young Adults)

Our experience of family life changes drastically as we age. Sociology explores how the status and role of children have evolved historically and culturally.

2.1 The Changing Status and Roles of Children

In many pre-industrial or traditional societies, children were seen as economic assets (they were expected to work and contribute to the family income). In the modern global North, their status is very different.

• Child Centredness: This describes modern societies where the family focuses intensely on the emotional and educational needs of the child. Children are no longer seen as small adults or mini-workers; they are valued emotionally.
• Example: Parents spending large sums on expensive toys, tutors, and holidays is evidence of child centredness.
• Variation Over Time and Culture: Remember, this change is not universal. In some cultures, children still contribute significantly to work (especially in agricultural societies) or face greater restrictions on their freedom than in the West.

2.2 Adult Children and 'Boomerang Families'

The economic pressures of modern life (student debt, high housing costs, difficult job markets) have affected young adults, changing their relationship with their parents.

• Boomerang Families: This term describes adult children who leave the parental home (often for university or work) but then return to live there, often for extended periods.
• Reasons for Boomeranging: Financial necessity, inability to afford housing (especially in urban areas), or relationship breakdown.
• Impact on Families: This can create tension or conflict, as parents and adult children must renegotiate their relationship roles (the adult child is now a dependent again, living under parental rules).

3. Age and the Experience of Family Life (Older People)

Just like children, the experience of being an older person varies hugely based on society. Sociologists look at the status and roles held by the elderly, particularly grandparents.

3.1 Status and Roles of Older People

The status of older people (the elderly) can be high or low depending on cultural values:

• High Status (Traditional Societies): In many traditional or collectivist societies (where extended families are common), older people often have high status because they hold the most knowledge and wisdom, and they control resources (e.g., land or family businesses). This is often linked to filial piety (respect for elders).
• Lower Status (Industrial Societies): In some modern industrial societies, older people may be marginalised. Their wisdom (e.g., agricultural knowledge) might be seen as outdated, and they are often excluded from the labour market upon retirement. They may become economic liabilities rather than assets.

3.2 The Changing Role of Grandparents

In contemporary diverse families, grandparents play a crucial and often changing role.

• Childcare Providers: With more mothers in paid employment (and the triple shift), grandparents are increasingly relied upon for regular, unpaid childcare. This is vital for the family economy.
• Emotional Support: Grandparents often provide significant emotional stability, especially in complex family structures like reconstituted families.
• The 'Beanpole' Family Connection: With lower birth rates and higher life expectancy, families are becoming long and thin (like a beanpole). Grandparents connect many generations vertically, acting as pivotal figures in maintaining family identity and history.

Did You Know? In some societies, older generations moving into retirement homes is rare, as caring for the elderly at home is considered a fundamental duty of the younger generation. This reflects a strong difference in cultural values regarding age.

Summary of Concepts

To ace this section, make sure you can define and apply the following concepts and sociologists:

• Parsons (Instrumental vs. Expressive roles)
• Oakley (Feminist critique of symmetrical family)
• The Triple Shift (Paid work + domestic labour + emotional work)
• Child Centredness
• Boomerang Families
• Changing status of older people (cultural variations)

You have covered a lot of crucial material! Remember that family life is rarely equal, and understanding gender and age helps us see where power imbalances and changes truly lie. Keep practicing using real-world examples in your answers!